The ripping away of the expectations that you've been using to make up your self hurts.. and you need to get past the pain of that, the longing for what might have been, the dreaming of futile dreams.

Focus on the facts.

Deal with the truth.

And quit deluding yourself.

Desulsion is also a very comfortable place to be, but it's ultimately self destructive... as your self becomes immersed in your dreams, and your reality is lost.