A few years ago, I was proud of the fact that I was different. I was part of the "Alternative" scene (back before nirvana were on the charts, when alternative meant more than wanna be grunge kids).

Somehow, I was accepted in that scene... not in the middle of it, but a part of it. It felt good, to stay up, drinking cheap red wine, and talking philosophy and politics until dawn.

For some reason, I stopped. I still don't know why. And I realised that I didn't miss it.

I'm not part of a scene now.. I wear a suit in the week, black jeans and t-shirt in the weekends. I still listen to music that I like, I still like to argue, and drink red wine. I feel no need to identify with a counter-culture.

I don't know how I feel about this. In a way, it's a lonely feeling, to not have a pile of similarly minded people around. It's also a release, as if from a prison of the mind, to no longer be subject to other peoples expectations.